What’s in a Name — Ski Monikers 2007


Post by WildSnow.com blogger | April 18, 2007      

A certain creative young man suggested a blog idea. Find the definitions for a few of 2007’s new ski names. Black Diamond has some of the more interesting monikers so we’ll start with those. Everyone chime in on the comments if you can come up with something for these or other brands. Here goes:

Verdict
The finding or answer of a jury given to the court concerning a matter submitted to their judgment, e.g., skiing a closed area.

Havoc
Great destruction or devastation; ruinous damage. Frequently caused by avalanches.

Kilowatt
A unit of power equal to 1,000 watts. Lithuanian: Kilovatas. Works well for measuring your contribution to global warming.

Zealot
A member of a radical, warlike, ardently patriotic group of Jews in Judea, particularly prominent from a.d. 69 to 81, advocating the violent overthrow of Roman rule and vigorously resisting the efforts of the Romans and their supporters to heathenize the Jews. Still looking for equivalent example in the ski community. Telemarkers, or Dynafitters?

Stigma
The eyespot of a protozoan, or the sticky part of a plant’s reproductive organ.

Voodoo
Characterized by deceptively simple, almost magical, solutions or ideas, e.g., “voodoo skiing.”

Cult
A religion or sect considered to be false, unorthodox, or extremist, with members often living outside of conventional society under the direction of a charismatic leader. Alta, or a certain group near Nelson, BC?

Joule
The SI unit of work or energy, equal to the work done by a force of one newton when its point of application moves through a distance of one meter in the direction of the force: equivalent to ten to the seventh power ergs and one watt-second. Skiing in a TGR movie requires one Joule energy expenditure per straightline.

Velvet
The soft, deciduous covering of a growing deer antler.

Machine
A person or thing that acts in a mechanical or automatic manner, e.g., “the last thing Bode Miller wants to be called is a boo-bashing machine.”



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Comments

7 Responses to “What’s in a Name — Ski Monikers 2007”

  1. Steve Pulford April 18th, 2007 7:41 am

    How about two of my favorites? The Volkl Gotama and the Atomic Sugar Daddy:

    Gotama – “Siddhattha Gotama took a famously circuitous route to cosmic enlightenment that included years of orgiastic excess and indulgence of the flesh (sign me up) followed by a monk’s lifestyle of severe self-denial and privation (I’ll get off here, thanks).”

    Sugar Daddy – Slang. A wealthy, usually older man who gives expensive gifts to a young person in return for sexual favors or companionship.

    Not sure how I can connect those to skiing, but they look good on a top sheet…

  2. Lou April 18th, 2007 7:57 am

    Good ones Steve!

    In Colorado, a Sugar Daddy would be a guy who likes breaking trail in our bottomless sugar snow.

  3. David Doughty April 18th, 2007 9:18 am

    Wailer 105: To wail: o utter a prolonged, inarticulate, mournful cry, usually high-pitched or clear-sounding, as in grief or suffering, often heard when one is made to break trail, or upon realizing that your binding exploded (see also: Explosiv)
    Slang: To hit repeatedly, as in solving problems of overcrowding in the backcountry, or to subdue that pesky “free” tele binding that wont go back into ski mode.

    Explosiv: A material which explodes, EG TNT, such as that dropped by heliskiing companies, or certain ski bindings.

  4. Jan Wellford April 18th, 2007 7:10 pm

    I don’t think that’s the definition of “Stigma” that BD had in mind… Funny, though.

  5. Jason Hendrickson April 18th, 2007 8:37 pm

    Rossi Dirty Bird – I don’t know if there’s a real definition for this name, but if you’re ok with “inappropriate content” look up “Dirty Bird” at http://www.urbandictionary.com. (Nope, I won’t even make a direct link).

    Also, these aren’t skis, but I’d like to see the definitions of these related product names:
    K2’s “The Royal Shaft” ski pole
    Swany “SUX” glove

  6. Jean-François Bertrand April 19th, 2007 6:11 am

    Well, a PG rated definition of “Dirty Bird”, according to the aforementionned slang dictionary, is “A nickname for Wild Turkey bourbon. At 101 proof, it’s mechanism of action on panties is akin to a crowbar.”

    … If only my tele skis would be as effective!

  7. Lou April 19th, 2007 6:58 am

    David, that’s a great “Wailer” def.

    Jean, indeed! But I thought telemarking was the sexiest thing to happen to skiing in the last 30 years? Did I miss something?

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