Write Best Funny Caption — Win Cloudveil Jacket or POC Hardhat

Post by WildSnow.com blogger | September 29, 2009      


Thanks to all of you for your creativity. We’ve been laughing at your captions every day since this post went up.

First prize (Cloudveil jacket) goes to Chris Sheehan for “Luckily, modern technology has drastically reduced the size of avalanche probes since the early 80’s.”

Second Prize (POC helmet) goes to ScottN for “Hmmm… let’s see… beacon, check….shovel, check….probe…..CHHECCKKK !!!”

Runners up (Just about every caption you guys came up with is a keeper, but here a few of the more LOL ones):

“I’ve heard about Dynafiddle, but this is ridiculous!”

“Ski historians still cannot explain the origins or purpose of the 1980’s

“Red Pant Ritual,” but, thankfully, the development of synthetic baselayers, as well as mixed gender ski groups, put an end to the practice.”

“There was clearly some confusion amongst the group about what was really required to ‘earn your turn.'”

“No one clearly recalled how it began, but all agreed it had gone too far.”

“Hey, could we not just read again the chapter on tree skiing?”

“You know, I can never explain to the guys at the office why this is so much fun.”

“He told us if we want the best turns we have to climb…”

Original post from last week:

Cloudveil and POC for backcountry skiing.

The swag: First prize to be a Cloudveil Spacewalk OR a Highway 22 jacket, second prize is a POC helmet.

Okay gals and guys. When it came to dressing, my early 1980s Outward Bound students in the photo below didn’t have it as good as we do now. They had to wear those style challenged 60/40 parkas. What’s more, they had to learn ski maneuvering by following a yoga master through a lodgepole pine forest.

You, on the other hand, might be wearing a new Cloudveil Spacewalk or Highway 22 jacket (depending if winner is male or female) or a POC Receptor Bug helmet (second prize).

I will say no more, except whomever comes up with the humor caption that makes our esteemed panel of judges laugh the loudest wins the prize. (Rewards only shipped in the U.S. and Canada, but anyone can play). Keep it PG rated.

Caption here, win a Cloudveil Jacket.

Luckily, modern technology has drastically reduced the size of
avalanche probes since the early 80’s.



114 Responses to “Write Best Funny Caption — Win Cloudveil Jacket or POC Hardhat”

  1. gabe hogan September 21st, 2009 9:41 am

    “He told us if we want the best turns we have to climb…”

  2. Lou September 21st, 2009 9:43 am

    “Outward Bound, yeah, just a bunch of tree huggers!”

  3. Lynne Wolfe September 21st, 2009 9:53 am

    So, for a bear hang we hang the bear, right?

  4. Christian September 21st, 2009 9:58 am

    Demonstrating the famed “wedgie” turn.

  5. Joesph Knutsen September 21st, 2009 9:59 am

    “Give me a boost into the tree, and then I’ll tell you how to scare that bear away.”

  6. Jeremiah September 21st, 2009 10:02 am

    “Beacon Check” used to mean something completely different.

  7. Nick September 21st, 2009 10:03 am

    “Outward Bound students developing the latest techniques in tree well rescue.”

  8. Chris Sheehan September 21st, 2009 10:04 am

    “Luckily, modern technology has drastically reduced the size of avalanche probes since the early 80’s.”

  9. AC September 21st, 2009 10:09 am

    “See Bob. If I grab you here, and you reach to the sky, No one will think it this is strange.”

  10. Lou September 21st, 2009 10:09 am

    Chris, LOL! Jeremiah, LOL!

  11. Wes Morrison September 21st, 2009 10:12 am

    “Next time, let’s call the fire department.”

  12. kevin September 21st, 2009 10:22 am

    “Enroll in Backcountry Proctology 101 this semester!”

  13. jacksun September 21st, 2009 10:34 am

    still have to butt-floss everyday in the outback

  14. Mike September 21st, 2009 10:36 am

    No longer safe in their homes, Aspen residents have begun hanging themselves in trees.

  15. Cory September 21st, 2009 10:41 am

    Rocky Mountain Pole Dancing School

  16. Matti Verkasalo September 21st, 2009 10:41 am

    Hey, could we not just read again the chapter on tree skiing?

  17. Mike September 21st, 2009 10:41 am

    I guess for folks not from around here, that should say
    “No longer safe from bears in their homes, Aspen residents have begun hanging themselves in trees.”

  18. Jim September 21st, 2009 10:45 am

    “Get him down from there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ve all heard his story about how deep the snow was last year.”

  19. Joesph Knutsen September 21st, 2009 10:45 am

    “Harry and Tom were never very good at skiing, always practicing their ice skating routine.”

  20. Clyde September 21st, 2009 10:51 am

    Telemark skiers looking for a clue.

  21. Cory September 21st, 2009 10:51 am

    Wow….that sap is sticky!

  22. John September 21st, 2009 11:04 am

    Backcountry skiing foraging class 101:
    “hey guys I told you the nuts are up in the tree not in my pants”

  23. EJB September 21st, 2009 11:15 am

    “Although gear, styles and technique may change over time, the backcountry bond is forever.” 😉

  24. Mike September 21st, 2009 11:18 am

    Ok guys. I think we’re done shaking all the snow from the trees on this slope – so now our Instructor (Lou) can show us how to survival ski some twigged up powder in the trees!

  25. Craig September 21st, 2009 11:18 am

    Today’s yoga telemark lesson:
    Repeat the mantra “Oh, mommy, take me home” while I correct your stance.

  26. Patrick Odenbeck September 21st, 2009 11:18 am

    Now where exactly is that stick?

  27. Joesph Knutsen September 21st, 2009 11:43 am

    “Although it spared his hands from ski edges, Doug’s leg up technique often led to awkward campfire small talk.”

  28. Ali E September 21st, 2009 11:47 am

    “I hate when we play ski football.”

  29. Scruppo September 21st, 2009 11:50 am

    OK Lou – once we have a winner, will you please divulge what is really going on?

  30. jason September 21st, 2009 11:57 am

    “this seemed like a better idea when i thought my class was going to be all female college students”

  31. alex Kerney September 21st, 2009 12:02 pm

    Surprise ‘fecal compaction = digital extraction’ practices never make anyone happy.

  32. steve s September 21st, 2009 12:27 pm

    “Come here you damn squirrel, gimme my GORP!”

  33. shoveler September 21st, 2009 12:35 pm

    This has got to be just about the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on a Monday morning. Thanks Lou and you guys leaving your captions!

  34. shoveler September 21st, 2009 12:40 pm

    “Is that a tree in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”

  35. Ben W September 21st, 2009 12:53 pm

    Hey! You can’t do that, this is a designated wilderness area!

  36. Ben W September 21st, 2009 12:55 pm

    Are you sure this is the best way to get out of these bindings?

  37. Rob September 21st, 2009 12:56 pm

    The early pioneers in synchronized skiing experimented with tree skiing and, of course, human pyramids, but ultimately settled on today’s more fan- and competitor-friendly powder eights format.

  38. Devon September 21st, 2009 12:56 pm

    Left foot red. No… no.. Jermey, I said red. Red! No, not your left hand, your foot. Your foot! Great, now we are stuck. Just.. just give me a hand up…

  39. Andrew September 21st, 2009 1:08 pm

    There was clearly some confusion amongst the group about what was really required to ‘earn your turn’.

  40. Larry September 21st, 2009 1:11 pm

    Remember Fred, when you get up there see if you can tell which way to the parking lot.

  41. Josh September 21st, 2009 1:13 pm

    Ever vigilant, the Olin Mark III ski team pioneered new and intriguing techniques in their quest for campfire kindling.

  42. Ed September 21st, 2009 1:16 pm

    wait a minute, they can’t be OB students, they don’t have helmets on!

  43. mc_schwing September 21st, 2009 1:16 pm

    Last one up is bear bait!!

  44. mike schnee September 21st, 2009 1:16 pm

    “Sometimes, there is only one way to scratch an itch!”

  45. Marcin September 21st, 2009 1:21 pm

    Hey, Dude, Brokeback mountain is about COWBOYS damnit, get your hand outta there!

  46. Cory September 21st, 2009 1:23 pm

    …just wait ’til the second date.

  47. Cory September 21st, 2009 1:26 pm

    “Wouldn’t Preparation H be easier?”

  48. Caleb September 21st, 2009 1:48 pm

    “Extreme skiing doesn’t have to be above treeline.”

  49. Mike S. September 21st, 2009 1:51 pm

    Only after setting up the last of the the tree-hugger slalomfest course poles did Ernie realize that they were a bit too close together. Another case of not seeing the forest for the trees..

  50. John September 21st, 2009 1:58 pm

    “Tree skiing sure seems like fun, but how the heck do climb trees with all this equipment on!” Red neck ski team

  51. Ben Pritchett September 21st, 2009 2:10 pm

    “I can’t believe it! That darn porcupine stole our klister kit!”

  52. kevin September 21st, 2009 2:18 pm

    “Trees: The Original Social Networking Tool”

  53. Gray September 21st, 2009 2:31 pm

    “Are you sure this is the right formation for the ancient snow dance?”

  54. Paul B September 21st, 2009 2:42 pm

    It is snowing in the mountains. Let’s have a pic of Sopris as a celebration of a great winter to come!
    Make everyone jealous.
    snow is upon us.

  55. Patrick September 21st, 2009 3:13 pm

    “We would never take steroids to build our strength. We just do thousands of squat thrusts!”

  56. KR September 21st, 2009 3:20 pm

    You’re going to sit in this tree until you apologize for voting for Ronald Reagan!

  57. El Jefe September 21st, 2009 3:22 pm

    “Guys, I was watching Bear Grylls last week, and he said when lost, you must climb to the top of the skinniest tree possible to find your way out.”

  58. Lou September 21st, 2009 3:23 pm

    Paul, I tried to shoot Sopris but I forgot to load the infrared film to cut through the huge snowstorm clouds. Ski descent tomorrow anyone?

  59. Lou September 21st, 2009 3:26 pm

    I’ve been laughing all day. This is great! 😆

  60. bryantp September 21st, 2009 3:39 pm


  61. Hopey September 21st, 2009 4:05 pm

    I’ve heard about Dynafiddle, but this is ridiculous!

  62. Cory September 21st, 2009 4:17 pm

    This is what happens when you use Viagra as a suppository.

  63. Halsted September 21st, 2009 5:05 pm


  64. Tim September 21st, 2009 5:26 pm

    You know, I can never explain to the guys at the office why this is so much fun.

  65. Donavon September 21st, 2009 5:40 pm

    “The rest of the guys try to coax Clyde out of the tree. He had been hiding there in fear ever since someone dared him to try to tele.”

    There is a little telemark rebuttal.

  66. Steve September 21st, 2009 6:06 pm

    Al Qaeda operatives were unable to beat the secret powder stash location out of Bob before his partners mounted a sophisticated rescue involving snowmobiles and assault rifles.

  67. Tim M. September 21st, 2009 6:07 pm

    Sects of “tree huggers” are known to employ “green” methods of transport like telemark skis, pricey fixed-gear bicycles and Birkenstocks in order to spirit themselves into the wilderness and practice their craft — and initiate recruits — beyond the gaze of unsympathetic factions.

  68. David September 21st, 2009 7:05 pm

    Jack sold the family cow at the market for a magic Pine Stalk, which is said to reach the best powder stashes.

  69. ScottN September 21st, 2009 7:08 pm

    “Just think of a happy place, and this will be over real quick…”

  70. Jon September 21st, 2009 7:39 pm

    Driven by their intense rivalry with NOLS, Outward Bound leaders took increasingly extreme physical and psychic risks in an effort to prove superior manliness…

  71. Jon September 21st, 2009 7:55 pm

    In the early days, many a new student fell for the old “klister on the pine tree” prank.

  72. ScottN September 21st, 2009 8:02 pm

    “hmmm…let’s see… beacon, check….shovel, check….probe…..CHHECCKKK !!!”

  73. Tim Drucker September 21st, 2009 8:37 pm

    Sacrifice a telemarker to truly fee the heel, free the mind.

  74. Art September 21st, 2009 9:47 pm

    No one clearly recalled how it began, but all agreed it had gone too far.

  75. Chris September 21st, 2009 9:51 pm

    “A rare backstage photo of the world-renowned 1980 outward bound production of Jesus Christ Superstar” … it was off Broadway…

  76. Darryl from PA September 21st, 2009 10:38 pm

    ” Ok, we got em tree’d and I have a clear shot…………….now get your edges out of my new Olins!!!!”

  77. Paul September 21st, 2009 10:46 pm

    Torque testing has sure come a long way since the early 80s!! Trust me, Bob, you won’t feel a thing. :w00t:

  78. NealB September 21st, 2009 10:54 pm

    “What happens in the backcountry, stays in the backcountry.” There was no further comment from Omaha Eaglescout Troop 241.

  79. Colin in CA September 22nd, 2009 1:02 am

    “Excuse me while I adjust my tele binding…. wait, Bob?!?! What’re you doing back there!?!?!?”

  80. whippet September 22nd, 2009 4:29 am

    Tree Hugging—Feel the love!

  81. Andy September 22nd, 2009 6:31 am

    Poplar, its not just for Core’s anymore.

  82. Lou September 22nd, 2009 6:36 am

    Incredible! You guys are a brain trust. We’ll let it go for another day or so…

  83. Mike September 22nd, 2009 6:41 am

    Is this how David Blaine strated his “Dive of Death” magic trick?

  84. Jimbo Dickey September 22nd, 2009 8:20 am


  85. SteveG September 22nd, 2009 8:56 am

    OB Survival tip # 93
    If the situation calls for a Donner Party solution to low food supply, proper field dressing procedures should be followed.

  86. ryan September 22nd, 2009 9:30 am

    “with the increase in backcountry traffic, skiers had to get creative to find first descents.”

  87. OMR September 22nd, 2009 9:59 am

    Ahhhhh, skinny skis on 3-inch base, Iwo Jima pose, guy in red shat his drawers. Outward Bound: be all YOU can be.

  88. eric September 22nd, 2009 11:21 am

    Call your doctor if it lasts more that 4 hours!

  89. Matt September 22nd, 2009 11:23 am

    Wait, wait. Are you sure this is how you make klister?

  90. Matt Kinney September 22nd, 2009 11:37 am

    ” Darn it louie, I asked you not to telemark.”

  91. Frank September 22nd, 2009 12:13 pm

    “The view from the top might be great, but the real fun is getting there.”

  92. Slave.To.Turns September 22nd, 2009 12:26 pm

    And with that comment about Wilderness legislation, Carl knew the only way for him to survive was to climb into the trees for safety. But he carried with him a certain feeling of satisfaction.

  93. CCD September 22nd, 2009 12:26 pm

    Back in the day–a classic group training session on how to avoid the onrushing avalanche–Pole Climbing 101..should we remove our skis?

  94. Toby September 22nd, 2009 1:08 pm

    “A little left, little more. Ok slide it forward, little more, little more. Ok, ok that’s it! That’s it! Ok, now I’m going to hold onto this tree and on the count of three see if you can pull the ski pole out of my ***. But PLEASE be careful. I love these pants.”

  95. Cory September 22nd, 2009 1:27 pm

    Uhhh….guys? Are you sure boys have a g-spot?

  96. Lou September 22nd, 2009 2:29 pm

    Guys, tone it down please. This is supposed to be PG rated.

  97. Cory September 22nd, 2009 2:50 pm

    sorry Lou…I got carried away….
    I included the motion picture folks definition below to offer more guidance:

    A PG-rated motion picture should be investigated by parents before they let their younger children attend. The PG rating indicates, in the view of the Rating Board, that parents may consider some material unsuitable for their children, and parents should make that decision.

    The more mature themes in some PG-rated motion pictures may call for parental guidance. There may be some profanity and some depictions of violence or brief nudity. But these elements are not deemed so intense as to require that parents be strongly cautioned beyond the suggestion of parental guidance. There is no drug use content in a PG-rated motion picture.

  98. Al September 22nd, 2009 2:59 pm

    And for the survival session you will be required to live in a tree for 3 days. Get climbing!

  99. Trees4me September 22nd, 2009 7:33 pm

    Since my glove is halfway up the tree is this still called a “yard sale”?

  100. EstoBum September 22nd, 2009 7:57 pm

    Once again the boys got into a contest to see who has the biggest ski pole.

  101. Mex September 22nd, 2009 8:22 pm

    “Ummm…Gary….this is NOT the probe technique I taught you”

  102. Paul September 22nd, 2009 10:27 pm

    “I know the Heimlich! I tell you, I know the Heimlich!”

  103. Mike Poleto September 22nd, 2009 10:31 pm

    “you hear me tree? I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! You think this is a game? I’m sittin’ here minding my own business and all of a sudden a branch grabs my wallet out of my back pocket. Oh…. ok…… it was the pope? Tell me, is the pope 30 feet tall and have needles? NO! Now give it back or I’m tightening my grip!
    5…….. 4……… 3…….. 2………OHHHHH OKAY! We got a funny guy! Dumpin’ snow in my face off your branches. Let’s just see what my saw here has to say about that!”

  104. Susannah September 23rd, 2009 7:07 am

    “Ski historians still cannot explain the origins or purpose of the 1980’s “Red Pant Ritual,” but, thankfully, the development of synthetic baselayers, as well as mixed gender ski groups, put an end to the practice.”

  105. Lou September 23rd, 2009 7:27 am

    Cory, thanks for the exposition on PG rated movies. That aside, you all know what we mean by “PG.” And if not, yours truly holds the power of the pen, er, keyboard…. 😎

    It’s not cut and dried of course, but so long as we dance on the border of decorum we’re fine.

    Most of the stuff here is totally within bounds, thanks everyone!

  106. Lou September 23rd, 2009 7:53 am

    Oh, and we’ll also be closing comments on this later today, so we can figure out the winners! L-O-L !!

  107. kirk September 23rd, 2009 10:14 am

    Sadly this photo was taken moments before Harry went mad, his famous last words were “That little f$%^&^% squirrel took my last Oreo! Come down here and fight like a man, I know where you live!!!!”

  108. Cory September 23rd, 2009 11:04 am

    “You lost your gloves where?

  109. Alex Marshall September 23rd, 2009 11:33 am

    It was just another team building exercise until something went horribly wrong.

  110. kswan September 23rd, 2009 12:27 pm

    “Time to hang the Kibbles and Bits”

  111. Lou September 23rd, 2009 1:10 pm

    Okay, since you guys are shutting down our web server with all your jokes, it’s probably time to turn this off and give out the swag.

    So, I’ll turn off the comments till we do that, then turn them back on once we figure out the two winners.

    Thanks everyone so much!

  112. Lou September 29th, 2009 8:40 am

    The contest is over (see above for winners), but I turned comments back on in case anyone has any comments…

  113. Chris Sheehan September 29th, 2009 2:30 pm

    WOOO!!! Thanks Lou!

  114. Lou September 30th, 2009 8:40 am

    Chris, please email us ASAP to claim your prize! I emailed you so just reply to that, or if you need our contact email please using the “Contact” link in menu above. Thanks, Lou

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  • Welcome to Louis (Lou) Dawson's backcountry skiing information & opinion website. Lou's passion for the past 50 years has been alpinism, climbing, mountaineering and skiing -- along with all manner of outdoor recreation. He has authored numerous books and articles about ski touring and is well known as the first person to ski down all 54 of Colorado's 14,000-foot peaks, otherwise known as the Fourteeners! Books and free ski touring news and information here.

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