UPDATE – WE HAVE WINNERS!
Thanks to all of you for your creativity. We’ve been laughing at your captions every day since this post went up.
First prize (Cloudveil jacket) goes to Chris Sheehan for “Luckily, modern technology has drastically reduced the size of avalanche probes since the early 80’s.”
Second Prize (POC helmet) goes to ScottN for “Hmmm… let’s see… beacon, check….shovel, check….probe…..CHHECCKKK !!!”
Runners up (Just about every caption you guys came up with is a keeper, but here a few of the more LOL ones):
“I’ve heard about Dynafiddle, but this is ridiculous!”
“Ski historians still cannot explain the origins or purpose of the 1980’s
“Red Pant Ritual,” but, thankfully, the development of synthetic baselayers, as well as mixed gender ski groups, put an end to the practice.”
“There was clearly some confusion amongst the group about what was really required to ‘earn your turn.'”
“No one clearly recalled how it began, but all agreed it had gone too far.”
“Hey, could we not just read again the chapter on tree skiing?”
“You know, I can never explain to the guys at the office why this is so much fun.”
“He told us if we want the best turns we have to climb…”
Original post from last week:
The swag: First prize to be a Cloudveil Spacewalk OR a Highway 22 jacket, second prize is a POC helmet.
You, on the other hand, might be wearing a new Cloudveil Spacewalk or Highway 22 jacket (depending if winner is male or female) or a POC Receptor Bug helmet (second prize).
I will say no more, except whomever comes up with the humor caption that makes our esteemed panel of judges laugh the loudest wins the prize. (Rewards only shipped in the U.S. and Canada, but anyone can play). Keep it PG rated.
Luckily, modern technology has drastically reduced the size of
avalanche probes since the early 80’s.
114 comments
“He told us if we want the best turns we have to climb…”
“Outward Bound, yeah, just a bunch of tree huggers!”
So, for a bear hang we hang the bear, right?
Demonstrating the famed “wedgie” turn.
“Give me a boost into the tree, and then I’ll tell you how to scare that bear away.”
“Beacon Check” used to mean something completely different.
“Outward Bound students developing the latest techniques in tree well rescue.”
“Luckily, modern technology has drastically reduced the size of avalanche probes since the early 80’s.”
“See Bob. If I grab you here, and you reach to the sky, No one will think it this is strange.”
Chris, LOL! Jeremiah, LOL!
“Next time, let’s call the fire department.”
“Enroll in Backcountry Proctology 101 this semester!”
still have to butt-floss everyday in the outback
No longer safe in their homes, Aspen residents have begun hanging themselves in trees.
Rocky Mountain Pole Dancing School
Hey, could we not just read again the chapter on tree skiing?
I guess for folks not from around here, that should say
“No longer safe from bears in their homes, Aspen residents have begun hanging themselves in trees.”
“Get him down from there. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we’ve all heard his story about how deep the snow was last year.”
“Harry and Tom were never very good at skiing, always practicing their ice skating routine.”
Telemark skiers looking for a clue.
Wow….that sap is sticky!
Backcountry skiing foraging class 101:
“hey guys I told you the nuts are up in the tree not in my pants”
“Although gear, styles and technique may change over time, the backcountry bond is forever.” 😉
Ok guys. I think we’re done shaking all the snow from the trees on this slope – so now our Instructor (Lou) can show us how to survival ski some twigged up powder in the trees!
Today’s yoga telemark lesson:
Repeat the mantra “Oh, mommy, take me home” while I correct your stance.
Now where exactly is that stick?
“Although it spared his hands from ski edges, Doug’s leg up technique often led to awkward campfire small talk.”
“I hate when we play ski football.”
OK Lou – once we have a winner, will you please divulge what is really going on?
“this seemed like a better idea when i thought my class was going to be all female college students”
Surprise ‘fecal compaction = digital extraction’ practices never make anyone happy.
“Come here you damn squirrel, gimme my GORP!”
This has got to be just about the funniest thing I’ve ever seen on a Monday morning. Thanks Lou and you guys leaving your captions!
“Is that a tree in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?”
Hey! You can’t do that, this is a designated wilderness area!
Are you sure this is the best way to get out of these bindings?
The early pioneers in synchronized skiing experimented with tree skiing and, of course, human pyramids, but ultimately settled on today’s more fan- and competitor-friendly powder eights format.
Left foot red. No… no.. Jermey, I said red. Red! No, not your left hand, your foot. Your foot! Great, now we are stuck. Just.. just give me a hand up…
There was clearly some confusion amongst the group about what was really required to ‘earn your turn’.
Remember Fred, when you get up there see if you can tell which way to the parking lot.
Ever vigilant, the Olin Mark III ski team pioneered new and intriguing techniques in their quest for campfire kindling.
wait a minute, they can’t be OB students, they don’t have helmets on!
Last one up is bear bait!!
“Sometimes, there is only one way to scratch an itch!”
Hey, Dude, Brokeback mountain is about COWBOYS damnit, get your hand outta there!
…just wait ’til the second date.
“Wouldn’t Preparation H be easier?”
“Extreme skiing doesn’t have to be above treeline.”
Only after setting up the last of the the tree-hugger slalomfest course poles did Ernie realize that they were a bit too close together. Another case of not seeing the forest for the trees..
“Tree skiing sure seems like fun, but how the heck do climb trees with all this equipment on!” Red neck ski team
“I can’t believe it! That darn porcupine stole our klister kit!”
“Trees: The Original Social Networking Tool”
“Are you sure this is the right formation for the ancient snow dance?”
Lou!
It is snowing in the mountains. Let’s have a pic of Sopris as a celebration of a great winter to come!
Make everyone jealous.
snow is upon us.
yes.
“We would never take steroids to build our strength. We just do thousands of squat thrusts!”
You’re going to sit in this tree until you apologize for voting for Ronald Reagan!
“Guys, I was watching Bear Grylls last week, and he said when lost, you must climb to the top of the skinniest tree possible to find your way out.”
Paul, I tried to shoot Sopris but I forgot to load the infrared film to cut through the huge snowstorm clouds. Ski descent tomorrow anyone?
I’ve been laughing all day. This is great! 😆
Wedgie!
I’ve heard about Dynafiddle, but this is ridiculous!
This is what happens when you use Viagra as a suppository.
“Telemark-tree-twister.”
You know, I can never explain to the guys at the office why this is so much fun.
“The rest of the guys try to coax Clyde out of the tree. He had been hiding there in fear ever since someone dared him to try to tele.”
There is a little telemark rebuttal.
Al Qaeda operatives were unable to beat the secret powder stash location out of Bob before his partners mounted a sophisticated rescue involving snowmobiles and assault rifles.
Sects of “tree huggers” are known to employ “green” methods of transport like telemark skis, pricey fixed-gear bicycles and Birkenstocks in order to spirit themselves into the wilderness and practice their craft — and initiate recruits — beyond the gaze of unsympathetic factions.
Jack sold the family cow at the market for a magic Pine Stalk, which is said to reach the best powder stashes.
“Just think of a happy place, and this will be over real quick…”
Driven by their intense rivalry with NOLS, Outward Bound leaders took increasingly extreme physical and psychic risks in an effort to prove superior manliness…
In the early days, many a new student fell for the old “klister on the pine tree” prank.
“hmmm…let’s see… beacon, check….shovel, check….probe…..CHHECCKKK !!!”
Sacrifice a telemarker to truly fee the heel, free the mind.
No one clearly recalled how it began, but all agreed it had gone too far.
“A rare backstage photo of the world-renowned 1980 outward bound production of Jesus Christ Superstar” … it was off Broadway…
” Ok, we got em tree’d and I have a clear shot…………….now get your edges out of my new Olins!!!!”
Torque testing has sure come a long way since the early 80s!! Trust me, Bob, you won’t feel a thing. :w00t:
“What happens in the backcountry, stays in the backcountry.” There was no further comment from Omaha Eaglescout Troop 241.
“Excuse me while I adjust my tele binding…. wait, Bob?!?! What’re you doing back there!?!?!?”
Tree Hugging—Feel the love!
Poplar, its not just for Core’s anymore.
Incredible! You guys are a brain trust. We’ll let it go for another day or so…
Is this how David Blaine strated his “Dive of Death” magic trick?
TENSIONS WERE HIGH ON DAY 18 WHEN TEAM MEMBERS WERE SYSTEMATICALLY STRUNG UP AND SEARCHED UPON THE DISCOVERY THAT THE M&M’S HAD GONE MISSING….
OB Survival tip # 93
If the situation calls for a Donner Party solution to low food supply, proper field dressing procedures should be followed.
“with the increase in backcountry traffic, skiers had to get creative to find first descents.”
Ahhhhh, skinny skis on 3-inch base, Iwo Jima pose, guy in red shat his drawers. Outward Bound: be all YOU can be.
Call your doctor if it lasts more that 4 hours!
Wait, wait. Are you sure this is how you make klister?
” Darn it louie, I asked you not to telemark.”
“The view from the top might be great, but the real fun is getting there.”
And with that comment about Wilderness legislation, Carl knew the only way for him to survive was to climb into the trees for safety. But he carried with him a certain feeling of satisfaction.
Back in the day–a classic group training session on how to avoid the onrushing avalanche–Pole Climbing 101..should we remove our skis?
“A little left, little more. Ok slide it forward, little more, little more. Ok, ok that’s it! That’s it! Ok, now I’m going to hold onto this tree and on the count of three see if you can pull the ski pole out of my ***. But PLEASE be careful. I love these pants.”
Uhhh….guys? Are you sure boys have a g-spot?
Guys, tone it down please. This is supposed to be PG rated.
sorry Lou…I got carried away….
I included the motion picture folks definition below to offer more guidance:
A PG-rated motion picture should be investigated by parents before they let their younger children attend. The PG rating indicates, in the view of the Rating Board, that parents may consider some material unsuitable for their children, and parents should make that decision.
The more mature themes in some PG-rated motion pictures may call for parental guidance. There may be some profanity and some depictions of violence or brief nudity. But these elements are not deemed so intense as to require that parents be strongly cautioned beyond the suggestion of parental guidance. There is no drug use content in a PG-rated motion picture.
And for the survival session you will be required to live in a tree for 3 days. Get climbing!
Since my glove is halfway up the tree is this still called a “yard sale”?
Once again the boys got into a contest to see who has the biggest ski pole.
“Ummm…Gary….this is NOT the probe technique I taught you”
“I know the Heimlich! I tell you, I know the Heimlich!”
“you hear me tree? I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE! You think this is a game? I’m sittin’ here minding my own business and all of a sudden a branch grabs my wallet out of my back pocket. Oh…. ok…… it was the pope? Tell me, is the pope 30 feet tall and have needles? NO! Now give it back or I’m tightening my grip!
5…….. 4……… 3…….. 2………OHHHHH OKAY! We got a funny guy! Dumpin’ snow in my face off your branches. Let’s just see what my saw here has to say about that!”
“Ski historians still cannot explain the origins or purpose of the 1980’s “Red Pant Ritual,” but, thankfully, the development of synthetic baselayers, as well as mixed gender ski groups, put an end to the practice.”
Cory, thanks for the exposition on PG rated movies. That aside, you all know what we mean by “PG.” And if not, yours truly holds the power of the pen, er, keyboard…. 😎
It’s not cut and dried of course, but so long as we dance on the border of decorum we’re fine.
Most of the stuff here is totally within bounds, thanks everyone!
Oh, and we’ll also be closing comments on this later today, so we can figure out the winners! L-O-L !!
Sadly this photo was taken moments before Harry went mad, his famous last words were “That little f$%^&^% squirrel took my last Oreo! Come down here and fight like a man, I know where you live!!!!”
“You lost your gloves where?
It was just another team building exercise until something went horribly wrong.
“Time to hang the Kibbles and Bits”
Okay, since you guys are shutting down our web server with all your jokes, it’s probably time to turn this off and give out the swag.
So, I’ll turn off the comments till we do that, then turn them back on once we figure out the two winners.
Thanks everyone so much!
The contest is over (see above for winners), but I turned comments back on in case anyone has any comments…
WOOO!!! Thanks Lou!
Chris, please email us ASAP to claim your prize! I emailed you so just reply to that, or if you need our contact email please using the “Contact” link in menu above. Thanks, Lou
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