Ok you jokers, have at it. I’ll start with a couple of your suggestions and a few more things.
1. I will always carry a bottle opener.
2. When skiing the Wasatch, I will spoon tracks 85 millimeters from each other, NO EXCEPTIONS.
3. Spooning tracks in Alaska is a sin.
4. My dog will always wear a diaper when following me on the skin track.
5. When backcountry skiing with people from (fill in the blank _???_) smile, nod and try to resist violence after three hours of hearing about how instead of skinning this, back in you know where, they would have just sledded’ up in 10 f’n minutes. And coulda hada _fill in blank with regional beer_ along the way.
6. Should Fido pee on a fellow skinner, I will make haste to compensate generously with cash.
7. If I have Bro model skis in my possession, I shall drink nothing but PBR and Redbull, or a combination thereof.
7.a. If I have DPS skis in my possession, I shall drink nothing but holy water.
7.b. If I have 4FRNT skis in my possession, I shall drink nothing but what Hoji drinks.
8. When ski mountaineering in Colorado, I will dig one snowpit an hour and never speak louder than a whisper.
Your additions, oh esteemed WildSnowers?