They say no pain no gain. But little did I know the owie my training regimen would inflict yesterday.
The swimming pool is cold. Not a mountain lake, but close. I do my requisite 45 minute lap session while dragging one leg in a float to protect a recovering knee from abuse. The life guards move closer as I flail and splash like a drowning man in a hurricane. To add insult during one lap, just as I pass the diving area a humongous 16-year-old fat kid cannonballs exactly six inches from the rope and 24 inches from my head. I choke and spit, give bozo the stinkeye, but keep swimming.
This is going to do it, I tell myself as I pull water. I’ll be a manimal by next winter. Guys half my age will tremble. Women will notice. P-tex and carbon fiber will bend to my whim.
I head for the showers. The frigid dunk has me chilled and shrunk like that carrot you lost in your fridge, only to find two weeks later.
I’m maybe half a minute into letting the perfectly hot H20 limber my muscles and reduce shrinkage. Ahhhhhh….
A guy marches into the locker room with his 2-year-old in tow. Out of the corner of my eye I see the kid stop and stare into the showers.
Then, in loud falsetto that rains over the man-tribe like we’re next to the speakers at a Neal Young concert: “Daddy, that man has a tiny PP.”
I limp back to my locker, yearning anew for the first day of ski season.
10 comments
Classic!!!
The younger generation has been brainwashed to believe bigger, fatter skis are the only way to go… but there’s no substitute for technique!
Ha ha ha, NICE!
You got to go to the glenwood pool to swim.
Hilarious.
I was just watching the Seinfeld “shrinkage” episode about 5 minutes ago, weird…
Ouch! What hurts worse the knee or the ego. (lol) Kids are great!
Definitely a good laugh! What’s more, I make brief mention of a knee and check out the Google ads to the left, they look like they’re intended for a hospital! I guess the enlargement ads got blocked. LOL
Yet another reason to cross train somewhere other than the community pool, eh! Hope the knee is doing better.
Thanks Mark, yeah, I’d rather cross train on a bike! Knee issue is minor, but requires some non-use therapy for a few weeks…
haha, nice. (or nots so 😉
manimal not heard that in years. 😛
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