Update: June 2 — We have a winner! Lester’s caption, “Trip report, indeed…” has been voted in by our extensive panel of judges. For his pithy creativity, Lester will receive a Smartwool Sport NTS baselayer top.
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Original post from last week:
Ok, something to get you through the day after hump day. This is a Brian Litz shot of Art Burrows during a three day Gore Range ski traverse in May of this year.
Trip report, indeed...
Art dominated telemark racing back during the nascent days of the sport, has done a bunch of design work for Black Diamond and Scarpa, and is still charging like you would not believe. Is he sharing his secret? Did he already take the little blue pill and the rest in his hand are just gravy? Caption it by leaving comments. In terms of humor, please no overt toilet stuff or vulgarity please, and keep any illegal drug references obtuse. If we get a winner, I just might have some swag kicking around here that I can send your way.
42 comments
Dude, free the heel…AND the mind.
One pill makes you wiser and the other dulls the pain.
Sung to the melody of ‘White Rabbit’.
The secret to dealing with the “Brown Snow”………
I’d be curious to hear his trip report and how the dust layer effected the Gore
Here kid, take these. You’re gonna need them tomorrow if you wanna keep up!
Our new backcountry M&M’s will cure your AT disease and unleash your inner tele-hippie. It worked for Art…it can work for you.
Art lands a new corporate sponsor with a strikingly appropriate brand image… Good & Fruity® !!!
It dosen’t taste good, but they weigh a lot less than real food.
Lou, how about getting those guys to do TR blog post(s)? You don’t read too much about skiing in the Gores, let alone ski traverses up there.
Or: How many pills do telemark skiers take? Nobody knows – those dirty hippies can’t count!
Looks like he got away to the hills – and took the evidence with him.
Art says: “The red ones are loaded with glucosamine for my overworked and under-appreciated knees. The yellow pill is filled with glutamine to help my hamstrings and quadriceps recover from over stretching when I revert to the ‘tele-lunge’ and imitate the Heisman trophy model. The brown ones have copious amounts of Omega 3s to help the tendons in my shoulders recover from my over-exaggerated pole plants. I supplement these pills with Wolf Nipple Chip Juice imported from Yellowstone and Smurfnut Oatmeal…(pause)….sort of the same idea as Red Bull, but this isn’t the oatmeal that Wilford Brimley would sell you.”
trip report, indeed
If he takes All of those at once he better move that pot or somebody could lose an eye.
Once upon a time there was a ski pioneer
Choo Choo Brian was his name we hear
He really didn’t work but he sure had fun
He used Good & Plenty candy to make his skis run
My original caption went something like this ….”Feed your meniscus: What was once 100% mind expanding is now sadly 100% inflammation reducing.”
This looks like the crew I hang out with! It’s the morning ritual.
My caption would be:
‘The real secret of the pro’s’. or
‘Why is this man smiling?’
Good post.
Or how’s about … Captain Trips Report.
“100 Home Run season… here I come!”
“We take all kinds of pills to give us all kind of thrills
But the thrill we never know
Is the thrill that’ll get you when you get your picture
On the Cover of …Wild Snow”
“Even in the backcountry, I’ve still got my Mike and Ike’s.”
“…and after I take all of these, I’m gonna lay right down for a while, man.”
I just got back from skiing, and am ROLLING ON THE FLOOR! You guys are great. Trip report, indeeeeeed!
This Yellow One is for my post-partum depression.
This one, Sciatica, whatever that is.
These ones after my Hysterectomy or prostectomy or some ectomy.
And this guy is for the pain from my last hip replacement.
This Orange one is . . .
Oops, gotta go ski . . .
[Announcer]
For Telemarkers, getting drugs can be as easy as opening your medicine cabinet.
Great!
Everyone, we’ll leave this open over the long weekend and see what we come up with. I’ll get the head guy at Alpinist Magazine, who’s an expert on this kind of stuff, to help me come up with a winner. We’ll announce that Tuesday or Wednesday, depending on how good the skiing around here is (grin).
Alright, who’s the wise guy that hid these in my ski boots?
“Ask your doctor if cold oatmeal is right for you.”
Old age and pharmaceuticals beats youth and hubris any day!
“When the moment is right, 36 hour Ski-alis is for you.”
And Artie,some patients may experience serious side effects. If your hard-on for skiing snirt lasts longer than 4 days, see your doctor immediately…
Is that a JetBoil in yur pocket or just excited to see Lou? With hot lead on the Johnson, I’d be pill-popping too.
I can’t beat Lester’s comment. Really, I’d try something, but that’s too funny.
Because even booze is too heavy.
Lester definitely had me laughing outloud, but all are great! It’s gonna be hard to pick a winner. Comment number one, from David, is pretty good as well, since ribbing telewhackers is a long standing WildSnow tradition — even if they CAN outski you both uphill and down.
My personal fave so far is the fractured song about being on the cover of Wild Snow.
“Who needs Celebrex?”
“You see what I have to do to keep up with AT skiers” OR “You think this smile comes naturally after a grinding tour?”
Fear and Loathing in leather boots.
Gonna close these comments in a day or two, so get yours in soon!
Seems the reports of the demise of George Carlin were a bit premature. Looks like he is hiding out in the high mountains and is up tto his old tricks again.
They’re organic, really!
Better living through pharmacology, dude!
I always knew jelly beans were a perfect energy food
I’d like to get the long version of Art’s biography. Though I don’t telemark, I’ve done it and am really impressed by those who do it so well.
Its a great Blog and we at the skifrance directory follow its just the best
cheers keep it coming
Friends:
30 years of skii mountaineering along with a bad a fall near Winter Park, Colrado finally had an effect on my joints.
In other words: ” I fought with the Gods and did not come out of the battle un-schathed….. ”
This past August of 2008 I had an Orthopedic Surgeon based in Colorado Springs, Colorado install an artifical left hip made of titanium and ceramic.
Has anyone had real experience with skii mountaineering with an artificial hip where they can honestly say that the new hip will hold up to the demands of skii mountaineering?
I am not looking for literature research but feedback from someone with one or more artificial hips that kept skii mountaineering after the surgery.
Thinking allowed…..
Arthur von Boennighausen @ The Sierra Mojada Ranch
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