WE HAVE A WINNER
A while back, I said we’d mail some swag to the winner of the best caption, based on an informal vote by the WildSnow crew.
Winning squib is Larry’s “Where did you say that outhouse was located?”
Runner’s up were the “Coombover” caption (a clever pun) and “I feel pretty” (which harkens a song in the classic movie “West Side Story.” See comments on this post for more than 40 other very funny takes. Good stuff you guys, thanks!
After making Artie the butt of our jokes, it’s only fitting that yours truly would share what is arguably the most embarrassing ski shot ever taken of, yes, me.
Where do I start? What was I thinking? What was my neuromuscular control doing with that weird angulation? How narrow are those skis? Are those stretch pants, and what’s with holding the knees together like I’m a virgin protecting her virtue?
I begged photo Glenn Randall to destroy this shot of me on Mount Sneffels, Colorado, in the West Couloir, around 1990. Companions were Jeff Lowe and photog Glenn Randall. Famed alpinist Jeff was actually a pretty good skier, and dabbled in extreme skiing over the years. I still remember how elegantly he switched from skis to crampons and back when we climbed out of the Snake over to the West. (A shout out to Jeff, who’s battling some health issues..)
I remember feeling pretty good about the climb, but after we messed around with getting photos during the scramble and encountered dangerous ice in the upper part of the Snake Couloir, by the time we got over to the West I was just glad to be skiing something easy and playing around with ski technique. Little did I know Glenn would end up with a shot this twisted! I guess at this point in life I should be thankful for that — since laughing is healthy.
Jeff showed up in lycra tights, if that gives you any indication of our whacked out sense of style, not to mention practicality. Can you imagine falling in an icy couloir while wearing Robin Hood pants? For starters, you’d take off down the thing like spit in a river. More, you’d probably end up pantless and flayed at the end of your ride.
Oh, and about the hair. Around this time the new so-called “extreme” skiing movies were coming out. While the films were amusing, I took offense at much of what they were calling “extreme” as the only really extreme stuff as far as I could tell was Plake’s hair. So in protest, I plowed an anti-mohawk through the crown of my pate. This got some weird looks in small southwestern Colorado towns such as Ouray, that’s for sure. Glenn Randall probably thought I was some kind of nutcase as well. Plake would have just laughed his head off.
Ummm, another caption contest oh esteemed WildSnowers? I’ve got a big sack of Kiss My Face (no pun intended) sun products just waiting to go out the door to the lucky winner. (As always, keep it PG rated please.)