1. Make a mistake and you’ll get sued, or feel obligated to sue someone else. See the how-to-sue your ski instructor guidebook.
2. Sitting on lift chairs is bad for your back. Ask any physical therapist, you are in the worst position imaginable.
3. You may become a criminal if you ski uphill for a workout.
4. Your carbon footprint goes big. Unless the whole resort is running on discarded vegi oil from their french fries, walk off your guilt.
5. The food is expensive and hideous, or else expensive and tasty, but still expensive. Some of the worst and best food I’ve ever had has been at ski resorts. Italy, best. Colorado dehydrated hamburgers and soggy french fries, ouch.
6. Your TLT 5 boots and Trab Race Aero skis won’t work as a carving setup. If you want to challenge yourself with resort skiing on lightweight backcountry gear, at least do it telemark style so folks on the ski lift will know you are special.
7. Moguls. Just, moguls.
8. You may see someone skiing moguls on Fritschi Diamir bindings. Chilling.
9. Near certain death if a wannabe Olympic downhiller hits you at 65 mph. Speaking of which, let’s add a corollary reason for not skiing at resorts: The fake helmet you might be wearing that will most certainly not protect you from that 65 mph crazy headed your way.
10. Fur coats and cell phones in the gondola. Ten-plus if the conversation is with a nanny.
Bonus – 11. What are your best reasons for not skiing at resorts?